Little habits can make a big difference with little ones.

I have always been interested in the Montessori method, but putting it into practice in our home didn’t seem possible somehow. It felt like only something you saw in high-end Montessori daycares. We enrolled our son into one of these Montessori daycares for exactly 3 days, and while he learnt there and we were impressed. He also cried and didn’t want to go. He’s been at home under our care for his entire life, and being away was hard for him and me.

After sending him to the school we realized that we could implement this in our home, and learn how to do this.

1. Being a Prepared Adult

I really recommend reading and learning about the Montessori Method. I listened to these books and worked through the course as we went about our day.

I’d previously read some of The Montessori Method by Maria Montessori. I brushed off the book, and started reading this again, and bought The Absorbent Mind by Maria Montessori. Additionally, I paid for a course Montessori in the Home by The Prepared Montessorian this course costs $49 (US Dollar). Other books, I think really helped me as a mother, A Mother’s Rule of Life: How to Bring Order to Your Home and Peace to Your Soul by  Holly Pierlot, and the book I’ll buy for any new Catholic parent, Parenting with Grace by  Gregory and Lisa Popcak truly life changing! This really changed the way I viewed parenting. It spoke specifically about respecting your child, and loving them as the image of the Christ child. Many more gems in this book, but really influenced and changed my thoughts on parenting.

2. Preparing the Environment

The big thing with the prepared environment is to get everything at their level and to their size as much as possible. Anything that is difficult for them requires you to intervene and help them. This makes them have to ask, cry, whine, etc. because they cannot help themselves! If you remove the obstacle of ‘you’ for everything you’ll find that your child actually wants to do everything themselves! They love to take care of themselves, and ‘do it themselves’ especially as a toddler.

This took a bit of investment! We went all in! However, we had just moved and my son was at the right age to transition from a baby to toddler room with his 2nd birthday just around the corner. We bought from Ikea: two pine cube cubbies for $69 each, children’s sensory table for $89, kids easel for $19, and a kids play kitchen for $79. Other than this, I had previously purchased baskets for toys, and I reused these. These are similar but not the exact same: gray here and white with leather handles here. I strongly suggest handles!

We moved everything down to our son’s level! All decorations (Crucifixes and religious artwork), towels for cleaning up, a child safe spray bottle of cleaning supplies (vinegar, essential oil, and water), books that were accessible and easy for him to choose, and each basket only has 1 toy in it or set of toys that can be played with together. This limits the amount of toys/work material we have out at any time. We do keep a rotation of toys by storing a few different ones out of sight in his closet. I bought these ones with the one side clear panel!

3. Establishing Daily Routines

This took a lot of work to figure out! This could look so different for so many different families. The idea is that with as many little routines you can create little habits, and that creates less melt downs. It also promotes getting into the ‘work-cycle’ at 2 years old you can expect your child to get to 2 hours of work in a cycle. My son just turned 2 years old, and these are just some ideas for your family and things we’ve implemented in our home. I really suggest reading A Mother’s Rule of Life: How to Bring Order to Your Home and Peace to Your Soul by  Holly Pierlot

Our routines right now:

1. Every morning we go potty and brush teeth before we do anything else!
2. We go outside and check on our chickens and collect eggs.
   • Putting shoes on (independently) before going outside
   • Taking shoes off and setting them next to the door neatly when coming in from outside
3. Every time he starts a ‘work-cycle’ he selects his ‘work’ and brings it to the living room or children’s table in his room (depending on the work type), he sits and plays as long as he wants with or without interaction, and when he is done we sing the ‘clean up song’ and he cleans up his work and returns it to its place in his room. This can go on for 2 hours! He will rotate between activities of his choice.
   • At first, we did this together and even still sometimes if he doesn’t want to clean up I’ll offer my assistance by gently saying, ‘do you need my help to clean up? or how about we clean up together?, etc.’ and I’ll model the behavior I want for him and encourage him to help as I am doing this. Once he decides he’s done, or if I notice he’s stopped playing with his toys or work material, I’ll ask him if he’s all done and would like to clean up. This signals to him that we need to put away this work, and pick something else. This will either prompt him to continue ‘working/playing’ or to start cleaning up.
4. Potty routine is simple he pulls down his pants and ‘point himself down’ and I help pull up pants (though I’m encouraging him to do this himself). Most importantly to wash his hands every time. I either hold him up and help him do this or we have various stools and a helper stand.
5. Food is a big thing for toddlers! I always encourage him to help prepare with the helper stand and choose his snacks (within reason), but most importantly all food is always eaten at the table. He has a high chair that he can climb into and sits at our dining room table for all snacks, meals, and drinks. Future goal here is to add a mini refrigerator and functional water in his play kitchen and get chairs for his children’s table, so he can be more self sufficient for snack time.
6. Nap-time/Night time routine is pretty simple! We take a bath (some nights), potty, dress for bed, brush teeth, get under the covers, and we read many books up to 6 books at nap-time/bedtime (we also read throughout the day too as he wishes!) if we don’t have that much time for reading we’ll tell him the limit is ‘2, etc’ and he chooses the books and the stories. Lights out.
7. Prayer before and after meals – this is so important to our family. We pray in Latin before meals and after. We take extra time to teach the sign of the cross to our son, and we have been doing this since he turned 1 years old. It’s super cute! Not perfect, but adorable.

4. Montessori Work Cycle and Work Materials

This is the biggest thing I took away from the Montessori method, and it is so amazing. Children at the age of 2 can work up to a two hour blocks. They can get into this ‘focused’ mode and once you see the focus — it makes sense! It also can help you know when to not interrupt them. I described it to my father in law, how would you feel if you were working heads down on an excel sheet crunching numbers in a groove and someone snatched your laptop out of your hands. That’s why it’s so important to let them be in this work cycle, and to not interrupt it!

Each work cycle includes:

1. A selection of work material
2. A presentation/demonstration (if never used a material before or if you want to introduce a new way to use a material)
3. A turn (for them) to try out what you’ve taught them; no time limit for how long!
4. Clean up
5. Put away

What are materials?

Materials can really be toys, specially designed Montessori work materials, practical life items to teach real life skills, or homemade Montessori work materials. I really think you as a parent have to get creative here! I’ll give some examples of materials we love right now for our 2 year old. Most of these we had previous to adopting the Montessori method, but I’ve changed the way I look at each toy and really think about what skills is he learning here. We don’t keep out all of these toys, but only a handful and rotate them. I try to swap out a ’type’ of material and avoid duplicate skills, and pay attention to what he’s not playing with any more.

Materials:

Arts and Craft:

1. Play Dough
2. Crayons
3. Chalk my son loves (similar) chalk cars

Building/Constructing:

1. Take Apart Airplane (similar)
2. Magnetic Blocks (similar)
3. Building Blocks
4. ABC Blocks (similar)
5. Car Track Floor Puzzle w/various cars
6. Basic train set
7. Wooden take along train set
8. Stacking Train

Pretend Play:

1. Farm Train set
2. Car Carrier Truck
3. Farm/Barn Set
4. Felt play food (here, here, here, and here)
5. Play kitchen cookware set and similar utensil set
6. Sandbox

Physical/Outdoor

1. Kickball (similar)
2. Toddler Balance bike (1-2 years)
3. Toddler Balance bike (2+)
4. Pike Montessori Climbing Set
5. Sandbox (similar)
6. Water table

Practical Lifeskills

1. Caring for a Plant w/watercan (similar)
2. Arranging Flowers (with mom)
3. Baking set (with mom)
4. Kids gardening set
5. Kids Mop & broom set

Car/Travel Items

1. Farm Busy Book
2. Water Wow
3. Lacing Toy

5. Courtesy and Grace & Limits

Oh, how many times you might hear the word, ‘No’ from a toddler. We’ve always worked really hard to teach our son to speak through what I call parroting. He speaks at a 3.5 year old level according to an acquaintance who is a speech pathologist who works with children and his pediatrician similarly put his language ability at the same age, and is 26 months right now. We insist that he speak in sentences as much as possible, and politely!

Courtesy and Grace:

1. May I please… this little phrase is so useful and once they learn it can ask for so many things. Our son uses ‘that’ frequently to fill in and point, but we give him the remainder of the sentence or missing words, and at first 1-2 years would word by word have him parrot back to us the sentence.
2. Thank you, (name) – really saying thank you to a person
3. No, Thank you (name) – Saying no, when he doesn’t want something and having that person respect it (if reasonable as much as possible)!
4. Yes, (name) – Responding directly to instructions and corrections

Limits:

1. When to set limits? The 4 D’s
   • Distracting
   • Dangerous
   • Disrespectful
   • Decorum

Okay, but HOW do you actually deal with this? Honestly, I think we all have to figure it out and what feels right for our family! It’s a hard thing and difficult for people to talk about. I went around asking friends/family for months on advice on how to discipline.

1. If with a work material, correct him, and demonstrate the proper way to use the material. If this doesn’t change the behavior – tell them that if they don’t use it properly how it’s intended then we can try again later. Remove the material from them.
2. Whenever he begins crying/whining, we ask that he use his words. We offer some words as a suggestion, so that he knows where to start.
3. No, Thank you – We use this with him to signify we don’t want to do something or we will not allow him whatever he is requesting. This is a respectful way to answer a child, and simply without needing to justify/explain to them.
4. Taking a ‘Rest’ this is a big one, and it took me a while to figure it out. Would we spank? Would we do timeout? How do you actually discipline? What I’ve found is that a ‘rest’ time for him and sometimes for me is what is needed. I use this super sparingly, but if my son is putting me at my wits end and I’m about to lose it. I offer to put him in his room for a ‘rest’. Often, he will settle himself, because he hates being alone and separated from me. When I do this, I just put him in his room with a baby gate, and take a small break. You could call this a time out, but I look at it more as a resetting and I don’t make him face a corner or anything which can be humiliating for a child. Again, it’s all about respect. I really suggest reading Parenting with Grace by  Gregory and Lisa Popcak truly life changing!

Hopefully, this helps you bring Catholicism and Montessori in your home for your littles. Please comment or message me directly if you have any questions.

Many Blessings,

Alexandra McCabe